Manifesting Moments

Hey Reader~

I was reading an old journal entry, which I never do, and I mentioned being excited for the next three months. I talked about this new energy and how motivated I was for all the upcoming things: personal and work-related. The last line of the journal entry was, I’m so excited to read all the books!

Books still excite me. Reading still excites me. I wonder what was coming up in those three months that had me so excited and ended my sentence with excitement to read. The last time I remember being so excited to read was when I was working my way through the Sweet Valley High books at the Plum Lake Public Library when I was 10 years old.

They say that you become like the five people you spend the most time with. I wonder if that includes my dogs and cats. I also wonder how the conversations I am a part of or the content I am consuming influences it. I am sure it does. How much control do I have over that? I wonder what they would say about it. Also, who are they?

I kept reading my journal to see what happened next. The entry was from two months ago. I chuckle and cringe to think I can’t even remember what I was referring to in my journal. I make a mental note to be more present in my life (again).

As I read it, this reflection feels different. I never read my old journals. I burn them all. Notebook full? Burn it. I can’t throw it in the trash. Someone will come across it in the landfill and immediately have some bizarre connection to me and know all my thoughts. Horrifying. The only other person who I’ve met that understands this is Ashley. Burn it all because I never want to read my thoughts again! 😆 Dramatic, I know.

My best friend, Rachel, would laugh asking if I thought everyone in the world was waiting on the edge of their seats to read a journal entry from me? We’d laugh together as I realize how anxiously private I can be. I miss her.

And yet, here I am. Writing a newsletter. Here I am with a website. With a public Instagram account. With a digital store that sells teacher resources. With a blog. Rereading my journal entries from two months ago. On the edge of my seat to read the next entry. What books was I so excited to read? What was coming up that had me journaling about it?

I’ll tell you next time. Tell me if you keep your journals, reread them, burn them, give them away? I’m curious.

Thanks for being here. You make this whole thing worth writing.